Monday, March 28, 2011

Days 247 - 276

I haven't felt like writing. I lost 2 kilos last month. I'm at 102.5 now - about 10 kilos total in 9 months. The psychologist told me to leave 2 months to bring myself under 100. It feels like a bigger milestone for him than it does for me.

He promises me, everything will be better when I am thin. If I think I like going out and having drinks and going dancing now, just wait to see what it's all like when I'm thin. I promise you, promise you that life will be one hundred times easier when you are thin. Easier to buy clothes. Easier to have sex. I have trouble keeping a straight face.

My body is starting to feel different to be in again, just little things. It's quite nice. Little reminders of what it was like to live in a smaller body.

I wrote that last passage last time I tried to put together something for you to read.

I feel like I'm running out of things to say about all this. Mostly because I've been feeling tired of being angry lately. About fat and about client issues really. I just want to close my eyes and push through mindlessly for a while. I don't think that's such a terrible thing really.

Maybe I feel less fat and there really is less to say.

You can ask me anything.

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