I haven't felt like writing. I lost 2 kilos last month. I'm at 102.5 now - about 10 kilos total in 9 months. The psychologist told me to leave 2 months to bring myself under 100. It feels like a bigger milestone for him than it does for me.
He promises me, everything will be better when I am thin. If I think I like going out and having drinks and going dancing now, just wait to see what it's all like when I'm thin. I promise you, promise you that life will be one hundred times easier when you are thin. Easier to buy clothes. Easier to have sex. I have trouble keeping a straight face.
My body is starting to feel different to be in again, just little things. It's quite nice. Little reminders of what it was like to live in a smaller body.
I wrote that last passage last time I tried to put together something for you to read.
I feel like I'm running out of things to say about all this. Mostly because I've been feeling tired of being angry lately. About fat and about client issues really. I just want to close my eyes and push through mindlessly for a while. I don't think that's such a terrible thing really.
Maybe I feel less fat and there really is less to say.
You can ask me anything.