Friday, July 9, 2010

Day 9

You would think that the 5cm incision would cause me some hassle. You would be mistaken.

A lot of the pain is in my left shoulder - this is caused by gas escaping my body (maybe not directly through my bloody shoulder - they say it's 'referred' pain). When they operate, they inflate your abdomen with CO2 to make room for instruments and to separate your organs. Delicious! Wouldn't you know, Voltaren have a suppository that will fix that right up. It looks a bit like a tiny chapstick. But you put it in your bum. I will tell you now, it is amazing.

The majority of my discomfort comes from the implant site. As you might imagine, I'm not used to having a kilo or so hanging from the inside of my abdominal wall. It's hard to describe what this feels like. Suffice to say that everytime I cough, burp or hiccup I hit the ceiling. Let's remember also that a girl with a fair amount of gas leaving her body might burp a lot too. If I do need to cough, which I often choose not to (easier than you thought), I need to stop, brace myself, and cough in a delicate way, beftting a lady. Otherwise I'd probably fall on my ass with the shock of the unimaginable pain. Maybe that's a bit of an overstatement. Periodically, and when I try to lie down the wrong way, I experience a strange, rhythmic clutching at the implant site. It's easiest to call this a cramp. This is amazing and takes my breath away. But in a bad way. As I heal, more tissue will knit into the attachment and the connection between the implant and my abdominal wall will become stronger and this will become less of an issue. Painkillers help for now.

  • Morphine - Decent. Sent me to sleep. Don't hope to get access to it outside hospital and don't really want to.
  • Oxycontin - Great. Lasts 12 hours. Leaves me pain free and actually functional.
  • Endone- Also great. Same drug as oxycontin, but lower dose and quicker release. Works in duo with the oxycontin to take care of break through pain.
  • Tramadol - Ok. Takes care of enough pain for me to be functional but uncomfortable. Makes me dopey as hell. Improves my ability to keep my trap shut during meetings at work and thereby expedite their progress.
  • Digesic - Works in duo with the tramadol. Really just a liferaft to get me through the last 2 hours before my next tramadol.
  • Over the counter codeine and paracetamol mixes - Terrible. Almost not worth bothering.

Without effective pain relief I have trouble with: walking; breathing; talking; dressing; showering; carrying things; bending; turning; shifting in a seat; sleeping; finding any comfortable position to sleep in; driving; wiping my butt.

The toiletting aspect of my pain issues wasn't such a big deal, more just a worry until recently. That's because I wasn't going twosies. Apparently this is relatively normal after a surgery - your body wants to keep whatever it can onboard to help with healing (ummmmm? twosies contain useful things? ok, if you say so...). But then, last night, like a lover returning from war, I felt the call of nature. As if by siren song, I was drawn to the throne. You might easily think there would be an issue in terms of my colon making up for lost time. Let me allay your fears - all was (relatively) normal. And, having taken endone and oxycontin, I could wipe.

Life is beautiful.

Start weight: 112.5
Last recorded weight: 107
Weight lost: 5.5
LT goal weight: 75
ST goal weight: 99

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